Dominic Raab is finally throwing in the towel after 13 years in Parliament. Punching Up’s Liam Fitzpatrick pays ‘tribute’ to the man behind the vein.
It’s a sad day in Britain as one of Britain’s finest minds announced his departure from the political arena with Dominic Raab announcing his intention not to stand at the next General Election.
The decision is for wholesome reasons, with Raab opting to spend more time with his young family, and definitely not motivated by his wafer-thin majority in his Esher and Walton seat, a constituency top of the Liberal Democrats’ target list.
Raab’s intellectual might was apparent shortly after entering Parliament when he co-authored one of the great works of our times, Britannia Unchained, a tome which claimed British workers are among the idlest in the world and called for the privatisation of the NHS.
A devoted Brexiteer, Raab was handed the plum job of Brexit Secretary in 2018, performing so well he was nicknamed “the turnip” because EU officials were SO IMPRESSED with his negotiating skills and personal warmth.
When the Maybot crashed in 2019, Raab nobly offered his services to replace her but was eliminated in the second round of the Conservative Leadership contest.
Undeterred by this setback, he wisely threw his lot in with runaway frontrunner Boris Johnson and secured himself one of the great offices of state, becoming Foreign Secretary. Megamind strikes again!
While serving at the Foreign Office he even had a short spell in the top job, stepping in as Caretaker Prime Minister while Johnson was incapacitated by COVID-19 in March 2020
His time as Foreign Secretary was cruelly cut short when he was accused of being ‘on the beach’ during the Taliban invasion of Kabul in the summer of 2021.
Raab bounced back just weeks later when he was appointed both Justice Secretary and Deputy Prime Minister in Johnson’s Autumn reshuffle.
Things looked to be looking up for Dom as he turned his attention to the burning issues in justice: Withdrawing from the European Convention on Human Rights and establishing a nice and Brexity British Bill of Rights.
The walls of the woke blob closed in and Raab was sent to the backbenches, his political career in tatters.
So here lies a Foreign Secretary, Deputy Prime Minister and fearless leader, a man taken from the political arena too soon. RIP Dominic, may your forehead live forever.