The Labour Party have been hiding away from political success for the past 13 years, yet they could be walking into their best chance to oust the Tories in next year’s general election.

Current polls suggest that Keir Starmer could waltz into number ten with a solid majority. But is there a way to guarantee such success?

The Tories have beaten three-word slogans like a dead horse, yet for 13 years that dead horse still manages to stretch itself over every political hurdle that seems to lay ahead of it.

‘Take Back Control’

It all began in 2016, during David Cameron’s long-promised EU Referendum, the VoteLeave campaign which was spearheaded by some of the most prominent members of the Tory party. They ran with the slogan ‘Take back control’.

As we know now, there wasn’t really any control to take back, however, it spoke to voters in a way that led many to get brainwashed into thinking we all lived our lives shackled by Brussels.

It was plastered on every billboard, placard and bus that anyone could have ever imagined, this led to many Tories thinking that this three-word thing might just work.

‘Brexit means Brexit’

Theresa May blessed us with this belter in June 2016 after she launched her leadership bid to take over from David Cameron in guiding us through the turbulence that lay ahead.

This slogan really proves that you can spout any sort of meaningless nonsense, but so long as it’s three words, it’ll work for you.

Maybe Labour could jump on this bandwagon and run with a ‘Keir is here’ campaign.

‘Strong and Stable’

Theresa May really enriched our lives with some unforgettable catchphrases, ‘strong and stable’ was possibly the best. Apart from the fact that she was about as stable as a dropped trifle, she persisted in telling us and her Tory colleagues that she would provide ‘strong and stable’ leadership.

She used this slogan in the run-up to the 2017 election when she lost the majority that the Tories already had.

This one provides a fantastic example of what not to do if you’re Keir Starmer and the Labour Party, which is to come up with a slogan that’ll get you memed into the next century.

‘Get Brexit Done’

Ahh, yes, Boris Johnson, the king of the three-word slogans, how about ‘bleeping, bleeping, bleep’?

‘Get Brexit done’ seemed to work wonders for Boris however, as he romped to a massive majority of 78. In many cases simplicity can be more effective and even though Brexit turned out to not be quite that simple, Boris made it sound as if it was.

Yet again, the brainwashing took place as the Tories seemed to use some sort of osmosis to feed in their campaign to voters which eventually led to Brexit getting done.

So what should Labour do?

The countless three-word slogans surprisingly led to high levels of political success for the Tories. So maybe Keir should take an old, muddy leaf out of the Tory book and come up with a few slogans of his own.

How about ‘Dull beyond belief’, ‘Better than nothing’ or ‘Fuck off Rishi’ – Either way, if Starmer is to find success with Labour he needs to find a way to pump some life into what seems to be a very boring opposition. A shitty three-word slogan could just be ideal.

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