Expectation was high for the May 24th edition of Prime ministers’ questions, but did the recent drama surrounding Braverman, Boris and inflation numbers mean for an entertaining parliamentary session?

Well short answer, no. Entertainment is kept to microscopic levels in recent Prime minister’s questions, as both Sunak and Starmer look to veer their respective ships away from the sensationalist populist drama queens that have dominated British politics in recent years. But that doesn’t mean that it was completely pointless!

Starmer expended all of his charisma allowance for the month on a series of half-jokes about the Home secretary Suella Braverman after recent calls for her sacking, including searing burns such as, “the Home secretary may need a speed awareness course, he (Sunak) needs a reality check.”, and “why does he (Sunak) think his home secretary seems to have a problem with points-based systems?” Whilst fairly mundane, Sir Keir isn’t known as a regular provider of any kind of comedy, so we’ll take anything we can get.

As Braverman failed to hide her grimace with a twisted smile behind him, Sunak avoided giving straight answers to Starmer’s questions on Braverman and immigration. Shock! It came after it was announced that new immigration figures would be released later this week, which the Labour leader said will show ‘each promise made in the Conservative manifesto will have been broken.’

Despite the regressive nature of the Tory party’s immigration policies, their failure to keep promises made to the public will only blast more gaping holes into an already sinking ship, shown by the Tory backbenchers’ noticeable lack of affirming grunts- do they know their leader is fighting a battle already lost?

Other shenanigans included Tory MP and shouty idiot Paul Bristow getting chucked out of the commons by speaker Lindsay Hoyle after just four measly minutes for heckling Starmer. Maybe Bristow was feeling personally attacked by Starmer’s speeding fine jabs- he shares Suella’s need for speed and was banned from driving for 28 days in 2021 after zooming over the speed limit in 2021.

Stephen Flynn of the SNP pointed out the rising food costs, reminding the PM that he can’t hide behind falling inflation, as milk, cheese and eggs are up 29% in price. Bad news for cheesy scrambled egg lovers, such as, unashamedly, myself.

There was little reference to flaming dump Boris Johnson, who will be very disappointed not to be the centre of attention.

Overall, Sunak looked weak, Starmer has finally managed to outline some kind of Labour migration plan, and Lindsay Hoyle is angry! Roll on next week so we can all waste another half an hour on these fools.

Scores/5- Sunak (1), Starmer(3), the UK(fucked)

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